“I have to get it right the first time or I’m a disappointment.”

Uncategorized May 29, 2024

Sarah was trying to write copy for a long form sales letter for a client…

But every time she sat down to write, a wave of fear and shame overwhelmed her. 

In one of the last weeks of my last Zero to 5K coaching group, this was a big mindset block we worked on. 

Many copywriters have a similar block that manifests itself in a perfectionism block around their writing. 

This tends to dramatically slow down their writing production…

And it’s one of the most common mindset blocks I see in copywriters. 

So how do you fix it?

Today, I’m going to share the 3 step process behind rewiring one of these mindset blocks. (You can do this with ANY mindset block you have.)

Step 1: Hand write in a journal to get clear on the block

In particular, write down:

  • WHEN you experience the block.
  • THOUGHTS that go through your head.
  • EMOTIONS that accompany those thoughts. 

For Sarah, whenever she sat down to write long form copy, she would feel a wall of fear and shame. She had thoughts like “I have to get it right the first time”... “I really don’t want to disappoint the client”... and “I’ve never done this before.” She felt fear, anxiety, worry, and shame. 

Step 2: Identify the belief that’s at the root of the block

Usually these beliefs are “if… then” statements or “when… then” statements. For example, for Sarah, it came down to a belief of:

“I have to get it right the first time, or I’m a disappointment.”

Or worded a different way:

“If I don’t get it right the first time, I’m a disappointment.”

Step 3: Re-visualize the memory where you learned that belief

Close your eyes, visualize your inner child (an image of yourself when you were between 5 and 18 years old) and ask yourself: 

Where did I first learn this belief?


When did I first feel this way?

Some childhood memories should come up. Pick the one that came up first (that’s at the top layer of the block) OR pick the memory that feels the most emotionally charged. 

For Sarah, it was a memory where her father asked her to do something, but she didn’t “get it right” the first time, and then she was punished for it. 

To rewire this belief, flip the belief on its head and teach your inner child the OPPOSITE. 

For example, the new belief we want to install is:

“If I don’t get it right the first time, you are a success.”

The key to this part is re-parenting your inner child. Close your eyes, and talk out loud to your inner child. Let them know that this is a belief they learned from someone else… and that if the belief doesn’t serve them anymore, they can let it go. Then, install the new belief. 

An example for Sarah would be:

“You learned from dad that if you don’t get it right the first time, you are a disappointment. However, this is his belief that he taught you, and if the belief doesn’t serve you anymore, it’s okay to let it go. It’s okay if you don’t get it right the first time. That’s normal, and human. I still love you. In fact, if you don’t get it right the first time, you are a success, because you tried, and a lot of people don’t even try. If you don’t get it right the first time, I’m not disappointed with you - I’m happy with you.”

Your inner child may have some resistance as you try to teach them a new belief. 

That’s okay - it’s normal. 

This part comes down to your will and providing yourself and your inner child with EVIDENCE. 

If you intend to search for evidence to support your old belief, your old belief will stay strong - that’s where the resistance will come from. 

But if you intend to look for evidence in your life to support your NEW belief, your new belief will become strong. 

When you do this process, expect to feel some strange sensations in your body. 

Your nervous system is literally rewiring itself at the subconscious level. 

So you may cry, feel warmth or relief around your body, or have some other way to purge the block. 

Afterwards, you may feel tired as your nervous system needs to “reboot.”

You’ll notice moving forward that your emotional spike around this block will be dialed down. 

The volume will be lower, and your thoughts around it will change. 

Congratulations - you’ve dealt with one layer of the block, and now you’re able to see the next layer down. 

You’ll discover that whatever you were trying to do or achieve - it will come to you easier now. 

The more you practice this, the stronger you will get at these “belief rewirings”...

Until you can “switch beliefs” at will. 

At that point, you will become unstoppable. 

Anything you want in your life, you can have. 

Because your beliefs build your reality.

Most people think that if XYZ happens to me, then I will feel different. 

I challenge you to adopt a different mentality:

When I think and feel different, the universe will reflect my new beliefs back to me. 

Instead of external to internal thinking, it’s internal to external. 

If this doesn’t make any sense right now, don’t worry…

It will click at some point. 

For now, give this 3 step process a try. 

Let me know how it goes - I’m really curious and would love to hear your experience. 

HINT: this is what my “super secret new program” I’m launching on June 20th will be about…

And it’s all around your m0ney beliefs. 

Heck yeah. 


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