After 7+ years of writing copy, and coaching over 400 students (on both copywriting skills and the mindset required to succeed)...
I regularly see 5 common thought patterns that block copywriters from getting clients, slow down the writing process and prevent them from being paid what they’re worth.
Take a look and see if any of these sound familiar to you (plus how to eliminate these barriers quickly)
Copywriters regularly ask advice on how to land clients, yet don’t take action on the methods they’ve learned.
They’re afraid. They fear the potential client’s response and potential “rejection”.
Where This Comes From
Virtually all emotional patterns and blocks come from your childhood and your interaction with your parents. Ask yourself this… where did you learn in your childhood to be afraid of failure / rejection?
What happens if you fail or get rejected? Where did you learn that that was a bad thing… instead of a good thing that moves you forward?
Some may think this is “woo woo” and ignore it, but if getting clients is a challenge for you then why not at least give it a try? It takes less than 5 minutes.
I recommend you close your eyes, imagine a younger version of yourself (your inner child), and ask them those questions. Talk to your inner child. Let them know it’s okay to fail… it’s okay to get rejected… that they are still safe and that you love them even if they fail or get rejected.
Then, take note of how this “imagined” inner child in your mind reacts… or what memories they show you. You will learn where your fear of failure comes from.
Next, Take These Steps To Overcome It
To rewire an emotional pattern, you must re-parent your inner child. You can do this through visualizations.
Whatever memories your inner child is experiencing, I want you to walk into the memory as your adult self and take over the parenting role.
Whether there was a parent present, or it was a teacher, other adult figure or you were alone in the memory... go into the memory as your adult self and be the parent to your inner child.
Teach them it’s ok to get rejected or “fail” at something. That it doesn’t mean they’re bad. Tell them you’re proud of them for trying, and they can try again until they succeed. Or they can move onto something else if they don’t want to try again. And that it’s safe to fail and try things.
This typically is linked with feelings of shame, of feeling less than or unworthy of love.
Where This Comes From
In this situation you are comparing yourself to others you perceive as above you or better than you. In reality, there is always someone further along the path than you… and those earlier on the path than you. That’s okay. It’s normal.
You learned somewhere that this makes you bad… or unworthy somehow.
How To Overcome It
I recommend the same exercise delving into your childhood and your interaction with your parents (maybe your parents constantly compared you to someone): talk to your inner child and discover where they learned to compare themselves to others “better” than they are… and where they learned to feel shame from this comparison.
Let your inner child know that even if there are others further along, you love them, there’s nothing wrong with them, and that you prefer them over anyone else. There’s nothing wrong with others being further along.
Let your inner child know it’s okay if there are others “better” at a certain skill or task than them. That’s normal and it doesn’t make them bad or un-loveable. Love, accept, and praise your inner child and let them know you’re NOT going to compare them to others like that anymore.
This typically is linked to emotions of shame, similar to the prior one, but with a side of guilt on top.
Often, I see copywriters associate how much money they feel they “deserve” with how hard they perceive themselves to have worked.
In reality, this relationship between “amount of money deserved” and “amount of work done” is a totally messed up relationship.
Some promos I worked my butt off, and they flop. Other promos I write super quick and they go on to crush it. In copywriting and internet marketing, this relationship is actually totally weird and bonkers to an extent.
Where This Comes From
You learned somewhere in your childhood that you don’t deserve money… or that you don’t deserve to have your wants and needs taken care of.
The bottom line with this mindset block is that you don’t feel like you deserve a certain amount of money. You learned your relationship with money from your parents and your childhood. So delve deep there and talk to your inner child to discover where this block comes from.
How To Overcome It
If you discover charged memories where your inner child learned to NOT deserve money or to NOT have their wants and needs taken care of, visualize going into those memories as your adult self and re-parenting your inner child in those memories.
Visualize giving your inner child money and letting them know they deserve money - for nothing at all (not necessarily in exchange for hard work). Give them a whole big briefcase of money, in fact! Let them know it’s okay to accept that money.
If there are any memories where your inner child didn’t get their wants and needs taken care of, I want you to do the same exercise with those memories. Take care of your inner child’s wants and needs in those memories. If it’s a toy they want, buy it for them. Whatever they want or need in that memory, help them get it.
This way, your inner child learns that their wants & needs are valid, it’s okay to voice them, and they deserve to have them taken care of. (This will translate into you being comfortable expressing your wants and needs to your clients)
What emotions does this bring up? From what I’ve seen, it’s usually fear/anxiety and guilt. Fear of the client being upset or disappointed, guilt for having boundaries instead of doing everything they want.
You always put your clients wants & needs ABOVE your own wants & needs. If I had to guess, you also do this with romantic partners, and people in general.
People-pleasers tend to ignore their own wants and needs (some do this to such a severe extent they don’t even know WHAT their own wants and needs are)... another symptom of this is feeling you “live in other people’s minds”, always guessing their wants & needs to “make them happy.”
My wife and I call this the “file cabinet system.” You literally have a file cabinet in your mind with a bunch of folders for the people in your life - and at any certain point, you take out a folder to look at the info there - “what are their wants and needs and how do I make them happy?”
Actually, it’s very important in this game to UNDERSTAND and be aware of what your own wants and needs are… to be able to VOICE those wants and needs to both yourself and your client… and to be OKAY with saying no to others (your clients included) even if it pisses them off or makes them upset.
Sounds scary, I know. But if you don’t learn how, you will have a stressful, exhausting career where you don’t actually get anywhere you want to go - you only go where your clients direct you to go.
Where This Comes From
This comes from a childhood where you learned it was your job to take care of other people’s feelings or wants and needs. Was your role in the family to make mom and dad happy? Or maybe a sibling?
Did you learn that your wants and needs didn’t matter? Were you punished for expressing your wants and needs?
Talk to your inner child about this and discover where this pattern comes from.
How To Overcome It
Re-parent your inner child and let them know it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to express their wants and needs, even if others get upset about it. That’s their triggers coming out, it isn’t personal and doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.
In any memories that pop up, protect your inner child if they feel threatened when expressing their wants and needs. Create a safe space for them to express their wants and needs.
And when they do, visualize you as the adult form of yourself going in and taking care of your inner child’s wants and needs in that memory and standing up to anyone who is getting angry at your inner child for expressing a want or need.
Teach them that their wants & needs matter… and that they don’t have to take care of other people anymore if they don’t want to.
They don’t have to make other people happy anymore (this is actually a big illusion… you actually CAN’T make others happy if they don’t choose to make themselves happy, it’s impossible - their happiness depends on their triggers, not what you do… and even if you do things perfectly, they may STILL not be happy). It’s okay to get rid of the file cabinet system.
It’s time to take care of your own wants and needs now.
This one is a big ol dose of SHAME.
Where This Comes From:
You learned in your childhood that you are being measured by parameters your parents or those in your environment used. And if you haven’t met those parameters, you’re a failure. Surprise… you’re not :) You are a human being.
Maybe you’re not meeting the criteria your parents decided were important, but those don't have to be YOUR standards. What you hear in your head is the voice of your parents or caretakers growing up. If you hear (or felt growing up) that everyone around you thinks you’re a failure and they treat you like a failure, you’ll learn you’re a failure - and that sticks with you the rest of your adult life, unless you unwire it.
Carrying around a heavy backpack of shame makes it hard to do anything… hard to write copy, hard to land clients, hard to do anything productive.
It’s time to put the backpack down so you can move forward without that burden.
How To Overcome It:
Talk to your inner child and put a boundary between them and the voice telling them they’re a failure. Let them know that's someone else’s belief based on their upbringing and triggers - but it doesn’t have to be true for your inner child.
Re-parent your inner child. Tell them they’re not a failure. They are a success - even if they don’t DO what their parents want. Tell your inner child YOU consider them a success , YOU love them unconditionally and it’s ok to stop listening to that other voice.
You’ll find it much easier to find success in the copywriting world (and in different areas of your life in general) once you’re free of this.
Hope you’ve enjoyed this post, use the techniques, and make massive progress, Copy Gangsta!
To your peace, love, and wealth,